¡¡¡...Life Lessons...!!!

Warning: This entry is exclusively about My Life, something that happened to me and that I think I shold share, maybe your perspective will help me to understand things better, writing I vent and feel much better telling you a key moment of my story that I marked and that has left scars.

A Colombian Story about....

I was thinking about how my life was 2 years ago, I remembered that by that time I used to live on a friend´s living room, literally I slept in the living room, next to a bunch of boxes and the bookcase. I didn´t have my own room or even walls around me to separate myself or give me some intimacy, I didn´t even had a light bulb. At that time I lived in an apartment and it was tiny, the principal bathroom was only 2 steps away from the kitchen. I lost my job and I couldn’t finish my career, I felt lost and was really depressed. Those were hard times, she gave me her support and I was paying like $30/mo, generally in my city you have to pay about $116-120/mo to rent a room, so she helped me with my financial situation as well.  And it was like that for at least 7 months.

I had forgotten those days, and the memory suddenly came to my mind because lately I´ve had really bad days, I hate my job (I work at customer service, you can imagine how my life is, dealing with angry customers, customers complaining about everything, my boss asking me for numbers and metrics and so on) but I can’t quite because like it or not my job pays all my debts (including my rent, my transportation, food and career).  I haven’t given up with my career, but my thesis is getting complicated, I’m working with molecules and their effects in fishes embryos, the problem is that my fishes don´t want to cooperate and the embryos are dying, I had three weeks to finish the project and I wasn´t able to finish on time because of this, now I have to pay another semester. Then I remembered how I felt sleeping next to the principal door, all the people looked down at me when they entered into the apartment, I haven’t forgotten their faces, they felt sorry for me.

One of my best friends helped me with my alimentation, he always invited me to his house with any pretext and he shared with me his own lunch or dinner, he didn´t have much, but he shared with me anyway, without him I wouldn’t have been able to be here. The worst memory was with my mom, she came here to my city because she wanted to know how I was (She had a feeling about me) and she slept with me on that bed and she didn´t say anything, at least nothing that may affect my self-esteem, I mean, I can only imagine how she felt when she saw me in that bad moment, she gave nothing but her support, she told me that everything would be better (And she helped me with money and food, she was worried because I was too skinny. Nobody will love me like my mom does, that was my first life lesson), I was devastated, I was in the bottom of my life and my mother´s sad eyes were my breaking point. 

The day she went to y natal city, I swore that I wouldn’t be in that situation anymore.

And I was there, working again in anything that came out: promoting beers, food and alcohol. Then I was promoting a construction company, I was waitress, manager, actress, teacher, I was making juices and handing out flayers. I had to sort some difficult situations: some days I had to deal with drunk guys, I didn´t have enough money to get food or the people that hired me took advantage and didn´t pay me, shit happens that was my second life lesson.

Two years after the promise I made, I found a better job,my own room and I had really good food again, I said thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the people that were there for me even though I haven’t had enough money, always be grateful, that was my third life lesson.

The life isn´t easy, sometimes I forget that, every day I wake up thinking about my passion, I want to be a biologist and that’s my persistent thought, that´s my goal, but after all these years my priority is to be happy, when I didn´t have money I learned how to smile even tho I felt grey or blue, I learned how to dance when I had a rainy day, I learned as well how to appreciate the small things like a hug and I understood what real love means.

Now I have a thick skin, a big heart and I´m an unstoppable force. 

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