Emptiness

 I wrote this on February 4th:

Hello,

Today I’m not having the best day and I wanted to write just that, because all the time we're taught that life should be perfect and prosperous, but the reality is that life is full of nuances.

I think I'm somatizing the discomfort I feel with a stomach ache, in fact the same thing happened to me yesterday, and lately I've been thinking about money and wanting to leave. However, I'm aware that if I'm not at peace with myself, I can go to the most beautiful place in the world and that's where all the shit I carry would end up.

February 6th:

I feel a little better now, that day I couldn't finish writing because I didn't feel like anything, sometimes I feel like I'm broken inside (even when nothing too stressful is happening in my life), I've been trying to identify what makes me feel like this, what makes me feel so empty and what makes me feel that life has no meaning (this last feeling is the worst), especially because you see how people are living their lives, their daily things and you don't understand why or what they do it for. But hey, I feel much better now, I've worked hard to understand that these are momentary feelings, that they happen for hours, maybe a few days, but they won't last forever.

I'm going to use these 9 days to improve my English, I'm going to work hard. I have to motivate myself to do certain things that I understand for others are part of the day to day, so I'm in it, because I want to carry out a project and show myself once again how far I can go when I set my mind to it.

I have been reading a lot about Self-esteem, I have learned many things, one of them is not to be so hard on yourself and that the mind plays some tricks on you to not make you feel enough. The truth is that you should keep in mind that you are someone valuable and that this is totally independent of the things you own or do not own. And if at any time you feel overwhelmed by sadness or by feelings that do not let you move forward, seek help with your family, your friends or with a specialist.

Walter Riso - Aprendiendo a quererse a sí mismo. 88/154.

Good night stories for rebel girls- Francesca Cavallo and Elena Favilli. 124/212.

If you want to support me in any way, here's my new PayPal: cavc0424@gmail.com

A hug from this tropical paradise called Colombia.