Family Drama (Part 2)

 Hello,

Continuing with the story of the drama of a typical Latin American family, well, my aunt had written to me to stop playing the victim... well, what can I tell you? Everyone reacts to circumstances according to their traumas... I told my aunt that if she considered that playing the victim was asking for some respect, then I would leave it to her interpretation and that if she had something more to say about it, then she could speak directly with my mother because I was not going to continue in that dynamic and incidentally that she knew that I was going to give her (my mom) the screenshots in which I would show her how she called me a victim.

And so the cold war began in this house hahaha, clearly my aunt was upset because as I said previously, what offends her the most is that people really see what her children are like, her real face, the one with defects. So, I'm in this situation where I'm not in the least interested in talking to my cousin and where my aunt is mad at me, where I don't have a fridge, no washing machine, clearly I have to keep talking to my aunt because I need to refrigerate the food I make.

I must tell you that I've started many times in my life, for example last year, I came home too thin, exhausted, mentally exhausted, I didn't feel sure of myself or my role in the world, I spent a few months in my house recovering and when I felt better I decided to start again, from scratch, with my clothes in a suitcase, my TV, my two fav stuffed animals, my laptop and some books that I could bring. And I assumed the responsibility of coming to be part of a completely different family nucleus and of which I already knew there was a lot of toxicity.

And this is what I want us to keep in mind today, FAMILIES ARE NOT PERFECT, there is no such thing as the model family and whoever is trying to convince you of that does not want to see the complete image, nor one of the realities of the life. But the fact of knowing that families are not perfect, DOES NOT FORCE YOU TO STAND WITH ABUSE TREATMENT or situations that violate you as a human being, and that applies to any member of your family, from your parents to your cousin in 10th grade that you didn't even know that existed. I have heard many times how people normalize extremely harmful attitudes from their relatives because they are of their SAME BLOOD. No no no people, one thing has nothing to do with the other, all human beings deserve respect regardless of our kinship.

And this is what was happening in this house, at some point they believed that because in general terms I am a very calm person I was going to allow them to humiliate me (what my cousin tried to do, asking me for the computer one weekend when she knew I depended from it to be able to earn money and knowing that she didn't really need it, taking things out of my house (the washing machine that she also used), telling me that she needed the space in the fridge asking me for the blankets and pods like that) or that I was going to allow her to insulted me (my aunt telling me that I am a victim for demanding that they respect my sleep at 4:30 AM) or that I had to keep quiet when someone is affecting my comfort (my cousin making whatever noise he wanted at the time that I wanted).

Now listening: Moonkey x CRO- Nightlovers

The best thing you can do in those moments, and I say this especially to those people who live with their families, is to put up a barrier, make it clear to people that they can't come and trample on you and that if it is necessary to break trust, then it's always done. You should always be the most important thing in your life and that includes your peace of mind and your value as a human being.

If you want to support me in any way, here's my new PayPal: cavc0424@gmail.com

During that week my aunt posted statuses like "seeking attention", like people who were victims, that she cuts people off from their lives, etc. what do you presume and I'll tell you what you lack" says a Colombian saying, the truth is that I have so internalized that of not being part of harmful dynamics that I don't even care, I don't care about them, nor what they do with their lives, I only care about my parents and my pets, I can live in peace as long as they leave me alone. One of the things that I think my aunt thought was going to happen (taking into account how things work here) is that in a week things would be like before and well, I think she finally realized that it won't be like that, if I have something very definite in my character is that once you lose my trust, THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. And my aunt and my cousin made a very big mistake with me, trying to damage my tranquility and my peace.

Well, things have been quite distant since that day, I stopped talking to my cousin, she was calling me the day of the earthquake to find out if I was okay and incidentally to ask about my aunt and her daughter (I think she is was the real reason for the call), for my part it was a fairly formal conversation and up to that point. And with my aunt we only talk to ask her to lend me the fridge so I can refrigerate my food. My mom was asking me if I felt good being alone and with total honesty I told her that I'd rather be "alone" than constantly face situations of stress. In addition, my aunt kept making things up, for example, she told my cousin that I had supposedly said that her kitchen was dirty (I know, this looks like a school) and that I had said something about her new husband (pure neighborhood gossip).

Don't you think that situations in coexistence are repeated in every area of your lives? There is always the person who wants to get into the lives of others, the people who are hateful, the ones who hide behind others instead of assuming their responsibility and obviously the people you like and get along great with. The thing is that when the people who make you uncomfortable are family members, everything gets complicated, because of work, university or school, well you leave and stop seeing them for a few hours, days or weeks, but your family almost you have to see it all the time and even more so if you work from home. But well, life is not perfect, in this blog we know it very well, we have to adapt, not give importance to things that do not deserve it and continue focused on our dreams and goals.

Not being more for this week's blog, I wish you the best, I hope you have a very productive week personally and at work, and if not, then that you can rest to continue with everything. Do not listen to words that seek to offend you, you continue working on your self-esteem. I send you a huge hug from this tropical paradise called Colombia.

If you want to support me in any way, here's my new PayPal: cavc0424@gmail.com