Let's continue with the story of the accident,
-Hello mom, I don't want you to be scared but I had a traffic accident and they told me that I had to contact you.
I don't remember very well what happened after that. My parents at that time lived 6 hours away from the city where I was studying, so there wasn't much they could do.
I remember that at some point during my entire stay in the hospital, I was sitting, I think, inside the room where they are checking the patients and at that moment, I see that my mother enters through the door of the room, super distressed to see what had happened to me. She had tears in her eyes and she checked me over and over again. I think she was the one who told me that I had to have surgery because I had broken my nose.
I remember I started crying and I couldn't even cry properly, because my nose was completely blocked, so I had to choose between crying or breathing. It was quite annoying. That's when they informed my mother that they were going to operate on me the next day and that's when I got worse, I couldn't imagine spending a night in the hospital (I hate the hospital environment and I also felt too bad for everything that had happened to stay alone).
Well, I don't know how my mother managed to convince the doctors to let me go home so I could be calmer. We got home and I couldn't eat anything until the next day, everyone in the house was worried, but honestly, I didn't want to see or talk to the people I was in the house with, I felt vulnerable and didn't want lectures in any way, no awkward questions, I honestly wanted to go unnoticed (something obviously impossible due to the circumstances).
I felt very uncomfortable not being able to breathe well, the next day we went to the clinic, I put on my gown, I had not eaten anything since the day before and I was naked, the nurses made me count backwards from 10 to 1 and there I was profound, I stopped existing in those hours (and that created in me a new position on the possibility of the nonexistence of God), I woke up very dizzy and I was like raising my hand, my mother came and told me that everything had gone well.
Then we went home, my mother spent a week accompanying me and taking care of me, the truth is that after that accident many things began to work against me, it was very strange because I wasn't even driving and I had also been drinking but I didn't have any other substance in my body, they knew it because they did blood tests on me upon arrival.
While I was recovering because they gave me about a week (I don't remember very well), I know that I didn't go to the university for several days, I was swollen and my eyes and part of my nose were black (obviously), many things were happening to me, around me while I was in the house having that bitter taste of feeling like I had screwed up and that I had to accept the consequences, alone because the other people who were in the car were fine, so in some way I miss all the weight of the accident had fallen on me.
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My father had sent my mother to withdraw me from the university, luckily the person who assisted her told her that I was a very good student and that was why I stood out, that it would be a mistake to withdraw (for which I am deeply grateful).
The relative I was living with said that I was drinking all the time and that I had even attempted suici... at a party with them (which is not true, at that time I was not thinking about death, that happened a long time later) In perspective, now I feel that she did it because in some way she was the person in charge and I ended up injured in a hospital (obviously she had nothing to do with it, but I feel that it was her defense mechanism).
The university went into midterms and there were many papers to hand in, so I was screwed because of the medical issue and I could also miss that cutoff.
In one of the conversations I had with my dad on the phone, he told me that I was a B!tch, for having been in a van with so many men... I remember hanging up on him and stopping talking to him for a long time. One of the things that used to bother me the most about him was his machismo and how little he could get to know me, I have always been that type of woman who has been surrounded by men, and that did not mean that I wanted to be with everyone, simply Those types of parties (at least at that time) were not so common to see a woman. That was the first time (at least that's how I remember it) that I hung up on my dad.
One of the things I also noticed is that with the blow, I hurt one of my eyes, I looked to the side and the eyeball was completely red. And eating, crying and breathing became super uncomfortable because I could only do one thing at a time, so 80% of the time the urge to breathe won.
All this time I acted as strong as I could, nothing had happened, but I was really broken inside, I felt that everything had been very unfair, because I wasn't even driving and much less was I high on illegal substances. I was screwed emotionally, physically and I had no idea how to manage my emotions, so the only thing I knew how to do was contain my feelings, hold on.
I was learning many things the hard way from having made bad decisions:
1. Do not get into a car with drunk people or under the influence of psychedelics (I have applied that since that time)
2. The only person who gave me absolute support regardless of how or why the accident occurred was my mother.
3. You can't trust the people who claim to be your family, many of them would be capable of bringing you down in order to get away safely.
4. Alcohol and drugs can be very dangerous and can ruin your life (it took many years for me to understand and accept this point).
5. You can change your life in a matter of seconds, both for better and for worse.
From that moment, I felt that my family had changed the conception they had of a judicious girl at home to a problematic person with a risky attitude, so from that moment I began to distance myself from the people I lived with, I never trusted them again. Never.
As a final part of the story, after the operation my father kept the boy's truck in the yards (a place where cars that have crashed and have been damaged are kept, every day they spend there they are charged), for 2- 3 weeks, until he made sure I was recovered and after the doctor saw me and said everything was fine with me. After that accident I saw those people again, but everything was very formal, then I had a problem with one of them (problems related to the one who later became my boyfriend) and I sent them a text called: "the damn bastards", but I'll tell you that story later.
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