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Reporting back to all of you, little things have happened in this world called: being single for a year and counting (how things were going I had to change it), it turns out that according to my best friend, I have become a hermit and well he is right , because I spend the time doing things in my room and I hardly go out, there are several factors that influence that decision, mainly it is that in my house I have everything I need, I am only leaving the house to buy food and that's it.

Well, it turns out that in one of those sermons about: you are a hermit, you need to socialize; my best friend started insisting that I leave the house more, so I agreed to go out with him to a club with his friends, for some strange reason that day I felt like I was going to meet someone (don't ask me why, you know I'm weird haha), so I started getting ready, taking into account what I had been thinking during the day, I honestly didn't have much encouragement, but there I was getting ready for the night. It had been several months since he had last gone out.

When we got to where my best friend's friends were, I was surrounded by a lot of women and another gay friend. It was in a somewhat clandestine place, on the outside it looked quite ordinary but on the inside it was quite particular, that night they were playing Italo Disco (I honestly didn't know that that type of music existed until that moment), there was a moment of the night when My friends came down because they were going to drink and smoke (because it was more expensive to buy a drink in the place) so I was left taking care of the suitcases and I was alone, I was so happy dancing because in fact I liked the music a lot and they also occasionally played Techno , at that moment someone approached me and told me that he really liked the way I was dancing, and I said to myself: oh no, someone is going to come and bother me. However, I looked at him carefully and realized that he didn't look like the typical man who was annoying. I really liked the way he was dressed, he had a mix of rap attitude with a rock outfit, he was tall, bearded and full of tattoos.

So I said to myself, let's talk to this person (although I also thought as a joke: shit, scopolamine!), I thought I was going to talk to someone basic or very simple, well it turns out he talked about everything and we even ended up talking of books and asked me for the IG. When my friends returned they were surprised and in fact realized that there was another man who was also trying to talk to me (and who according to them was much nicer, in fact what I remember was that he was dressed very Peaky Blinder type, he looked quite elegant). Well, according to him he was with a couple of friends, and that day they told him that they had squared off and started kissing and he ended up getting bored, when he spoke to me he was already leaving because he was going to his house. I remember that at some point in the conversation he started to tell me that I was very beautiful etc etc, I had to interrupt him and I told him: if you think that something sexual is going to happen between us, I want to make it clear to you that it will not happen and it is better that you continue your path, to which he replied that if that were to happen it would be spectacular but that he wanted to meet me.

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The truth is, when I realized that it wasn't a basic one, I asked my friends if we could patch with it and they all said there was no problem. After leaving that place, we ended up taking an oxxo until 4:30-5 in the morning, we were waiting for the city bus to pass (honestly I wanted to go by private car, but I didn't want to be like the one who didn't care). others matter and leaves). We were listening to music, dancing and singing. The little man was there the whole time and integrated very well with my friends. It was time for us to leave and he told me to let him know when I got home.

Well, my dear friends, I didn't even warn him, because I said that he was someone I met at the moment and the truth is that it's not like he's very interested in meeting people with other types of intentions, so I stopped there and in fact I thought, what? things would stay like this. It turns out that the little man ended up writing the next day and started talking to me and asking me and asking me things and well, we just kept talking. It turns out that he is a person who is very good at his job and has been independent for a long time. He insisted many times that we meet and do something.

Well... we went out to talk several times... he is a person that I like, but there were moments when he reminded me of my ex, like that bad boy attitude, one of those people who pretend to be serious and "without feelings." "He even told me that he didn't like it when they wrote to him a lot because he loved his freedom, well, I analyzed it a lot and he managed to go out with us like two other times, one weekend came when he told me he was going to go for a walk with some friends and etc etc, and well, normal, we said goodbye normally. On that occasion he kind of brought up the topic of what I wanted in my love life, at that moment I told him that the truth was I didn't want anything with someone, but I didn't see myself only having sex with someone (I'm demisexual, I need to have a connection with the person I eat with because I am not capable of being with someone I don't want).

Well, the fact is that he told me that it was obvious that I was not emotionally available and he seemed to get weird with me, he brought me to my house and we continued talking until he left for the trip he had. After that it made me so uncomfortable to keep talking to him, I was too lazy to ask him what he was doing and so on, and I said like, no problem, maybe the man said that he doesn't like people writing to him and so I relaxed. Well, it turns out that on Monday I remembered that the man had told me that I was going to be somewhere surrounded by nature, well, I went to see what IG photos he had posted, because now where I am living is a concrete jungle. Well friends, they had eliminated me from IG... it made me laugh and I said like: well normal, the man doesn't want us to continue talking and well I relaxed more and continued with my things.

I was at work I think on Friday and the little man writes to me saying that he can't believe I ghosted him because he was gone and I: :/ HAHAHAHAHAHA, I thought what he said to me was very funny and even more so considering that he had said that he didn't like that they were writing to him (my ex was very like that, he said that nothing hurt him but inside he was soft as butter), so I told him like, hey, that's no way to start a conversation and I told him how Look, you deleted me from IG, I don't know what you thought I was going to interpret from that. He told me that he had not realized that he had eliminated me (obviously he did it because I had stopped talking to him, there is no other explanation) and since that day he has been super aware of me and writing to me all the time.

Regardless of his attitude, which in fact seemed quite contradictory and somewhat immature, I was surprised by the way I handled the situation, that is, I didn't care that I stopped talking to him, for me it was like, you eliminated me ? Perfect, we won't talk to each other anymore, I won't be chasing anyone, don't you want to be in my life? No problem, each to their own. Before, he would have reproached me a lot if I had done something that would have made him angry or if there was something in my way of being that could have made him uncomfortable. Well, friends, with this I want to tell you that working on your self-esteem and setting limits is something that if you work with perseverance and dedication, you can see results. In my case it was something so organic that I only realized that I was really in that mood when That person needed to get my attention to make me notice that they were no longer in my life.

Well, if that little person or anyone else wants to be my friend, that's fine with me and they can count on me to talk and go out for coffee from time to time, however, if that person wants to play the cold guy who doesn't want to to anyone and that they have to be aware of him/her 24/7,well, don't count on me, I am very busy in my life, working on my dreams and my well-being, so if I decide to dedicate some of my time to you it is because I really feel that you are a person who contributes something to my life, to my mental health. and that it is a reciprocal and healthy relationship.

I feel so proud of my process, I'm not going to deny that there are times when I feel alone (because I really am, most of the people I talk to are through WhatsApp), but I really don't plan to be with someone to spare or to fill that loneliness. Now I enjoy the moments that I can dedicate to myself in which I can focus on myself and do the things that I like and I am not going to allow any person to disturb the balance that I try to maintain every day.

I hope you have a great week, Halloween is almost here, I want to dress up like you won't believe me. Remember that you are not alone, you have yourselves!