Hello,
Have I ever wondered if there is any point in writing this blog, I wonder if the people who are reading me are learning a little about me, so that they don't have to go through the same thing or if the things that make me laugh make them laugh. they too. I feel that in life you wonder if many things in your life have any meaning. There are those who say that you must find meaning in your life so that it has some purpose and there are those who say that life has no meaning and by accepting that fact you can live at peace with yourself. The truth is that over the years I've discovered how therapeutic it's for me to talk about the things that happen to me, not because they're incredibly extraordinary or monotonous, but because telling my stories makes me feel less alone and a little more heard.
Thanks for stopping by and reading for a little while.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------
Diego arrived and walked through the door of the apartment and although I still noticed a bit of his happiness, I could also see that there was a bit of sadness in his eyes. At that moment he arrived and greeted the people who were located before me, I was still very nervous, my turn came, we looked at each other, a very tender smile appeared on his face, in fact he also smiled with his eyes and we hugged.
After that we shared a little with the others, but within minutes we had already created the little world that was always built when we were with other people. We began to tell each other how things had gone that past year. I was telling him all my personal exploits, I felt very happy to tell him that anxiety, although he was still present, no longer made my life impossible like in other times, he just looked at me and analyzed me and then smiled. Then it was his turn and he told me that his year had been full of moments of great joy but that there had been more sad moments.
We were talking and sharing with everyone, a few hours passed and both my ex and my friend decided to leave. We said goodbye to both of them and invited them to the barbecue that my friend was organizing, they both said yes.
During the conversation with Diego, we agreed to meet so we could talk calmly about everything that had happened to us and be able to clarify what had happened to us.
The next day I woke up, I was with my friend and her girlfriend, from then on at night I had to meet a friend with whom we were going to go to the play of one of my cousins, I relaxed about the time and almost I didn't arrive at the Theatre, they were already closing the doors. I loved the play, my cousin is a professional dancer. My cousin's play was based on "chronicles of a death foretold", he was Santiago Nasar, there was a lot of dancing, live singers, dramaturgy and blood. I loved seeing what an artist my cousin has become, how incredibly talented he is, and what a wonderful person he is. Right now my cousin is dealing with the cancer that his mother is going through. And although in our moments of solitude he shows me the entire process that he has experienced this year, he shows a peaceful and unbreakable character (he doesn't know how much I admire him).
From there we went to my friend's house, where another of the friends I had worked with a few years ago was going to arrive. We were listening to rap in Spanish and English on an old-fashioned record player, we drank some wine and talked about life and love. Another former co-worker came to us and told us that in an exchange he had done he had met a person who changed his life. It was very nice to see how my friend had fallen in love and to see the crazy things he had done for that person he met on vacation (they both got each other's names tattooed), my friend is even going to travel to her country of origin to see her again. That energy of love when it begins is so unique (obviously when we talk about a love that is reciprocated).
Over the years you gain greater precision in detecting red flags, in the case of my friend for example, the girl has the habit of ghosting him for many days (even when they were in the same city), in fact now that they live on continents separated can leave him ghosted for weeks. And although it sounds very romantic (I've called it toxic romanticism for some time now), tattooing the name of a person you don't know (and with the respect that everyone deserves for doing what they want with their body) To me it's a HUGE red flag. I feel that wanting to show in such extreme ways what that person means to your life can be an indicator that there are little things you need to work on.
Well, my friend says that he doesn't regret anything he's done for her so far (and it's good that he thinks that way because the tattoo he got of her name is considerably large), I think that things won't turn out that way so positively for him, this is possibly his "canonical event".
The time went by too quickly, they were watching rap videos and talking about artists, awards and lyrics... I started to fall asleep so I asked my friend to see if I could sleep in his bed... when I woke up one of my friends was next to me and the other was sleeping on the couch in the living room. From there we said goodbye, I asked the owner of the apartment to please keep one of my books for me and then I'd come back for it (first mistake in a series of mistakes). From there I returned again to my friend's house.
That day I was already tired, but there wasn't much time to rest because that was the day of the barbecue and we had to prepare everything for my friend's girlfriend's birthday/reunion barbecue. In the morning my friend left me the task of marinating the meat (I would never have marinated meat for so many people), from there we had to wait until my friend finished getting things ready for the birthday (the cake was an imitation of one from a video of Taylor Swift that if you stabbed her blood would come out, I don't know much of her music but my friend's girlfriend is a super fan). Well, there we were, my friend's girlfriend and I, at home getting ready to go to the building where we were going to celebrate her birthday. We also had to bring little things like the cake that she had no idea about and that if I ever moved it badly it was totally ruined.
When we arrived, few people had arrived but at that moment the devil and my ex had already arrived...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't been able to write more frequently because I've been battling my depression, I don't feel too bad but I've lost the motivation to do a lot of things. I've been preparing this entry for about a month. I'm sorry.
Our IG: @pedacitosdeme
If you want to support me in any way, here's my new PayPal: cavc0424@gmail.com
Comentarios
Publicar un comentario