The Second Divorce

Today I'll tell you the pending story of the second divorce, we’ll call this friend of mine Juan... He's a childhood friend of mine, and we used to spend a lot of time together, partying when we hadn’t even started university yet and had no clue about life (we still don’t, but at least more years have passed—supposedly, we’re more "mature" now). At some point, we lost touch...

Last year, we reconnected—I don’t quite remember how—but he told me he had been in a relationship for nine years and that, for about the last three or four, he hadn’t been happy. According to him, things had become very tense and heavy because she had a very strong personality, and everything turned into an argument. He mentioned that she was deeply religious and had struggled to adapt to a new country (they moved to Europe—he went for his master’s degree, and she went to work). She wasn’t good at making friends.

Turns out, she was extremely jealous and wanted him to stay home with her all the time. She didn’t want him doing things he enjoyed, like playing basketball. The fights and arguments started (he told me she could be very aggressive in her tone and the intensity of their clashes). They even tried therapy to save the relationship, and in an unexpected twist, therapy worked so well that they decided to have a child.

But during the pregnancy, she stopped going to therapy, and the aggression and pressure toward him returned... Eventually, things got worse, and they decided to divorce. After many conversations, he admitted that he had noticed some red flags during their relationship but chose to ignore them because he valued other aspects, like her belonging to a conservative religion.

He mentioned that once, when they were still dating, they were at a restaurant, and she exploded horribly at a waiter who had brought her the wrong order. The scene was so embarrassing that he suggested they just leave because people were staring at them.

In their day-to-day life, she was very possessive and jealous, and it seemed like everything annoyed her, so fights were constant. On top of that, after having their child, her emotional state worsened, and now they weren’t just fighting about their relationship but also about the baby... He also said she often seemed uncomfortable caring for or feeding the child, which made him even more worried...

So, they began their divorce process while still living under the same roof. They went to therapy (to try to co-parent better), and while all this was happening, my friend was finishing his PhD thesis—meaning he had to be a father, work, and perform as a student. He often told me he had to emotionally detach himself to keep from losing his mind... He also had to start looking for a new apartment where he could live and have his daughter on visitation days.

Finally, they separated. The "emotional detachment" method worked for him—he graduated, got an apartment, and his work contract was renewed...

And you might say... All of this was a great learning experience for your friend about himself and relationships, right?

Nope. While getting his new apartment, he met someone at a friend’s party, and within a month, they were living together... Turns out, his new partner is now jealous (of the few female friends he has, who live on the other side of the world), and they fight constantly—she even ruined an entire day for him over an argument.

We humans fear loneliness so much that we’d rather be miserably partnered and make our lives harder... than sit quietly with ourselves.

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All articles here are written by a real person—only the images are created by AI